That's what happens when you jump

I find it very difficult to say anything honest and true when I'm not drunk.

Writing is easier.

I want to be your friend, but I'm not good at that. I'm not good at that.

Should I give up?

I'm always sad and I'm always nervous, and it is physically impossible for me to be good to the people around me. My heart's beating so fast that I can't hear what you say. I'm exhausted and have been for a long time. I don't want to die. I just want to be nonexistent for a while.

Always, always, always ready to lose everything. I have to learn to trust.

I can continue swimming in sadness and self-pity. Or I can stop taking it all so seriously and live.

Live. Not sure if I can do that, but I can definitely give it a try. In any case, I embrace the very odd in you, the ancient, the embarrassing, the dirty, the divine, the human, the unexpected.

There'll come a time when I'll be much stronger than this. Don't give up on me and don't let me down. This is what happens when you jump.