Location: London, Finland.

First time I saw her, she was sitting by the highway,
crying uncontrollably, watching life pass,
petting a dead rabbit.

And I thought that this was a good place to start.

Joanna Lovely

Joanna Lumley is elegance.
Inside and out, heart and soul, her face, her voice, everything.

I'll stand and watch you while you drown

 
Johnny 21. toukokuuta 2013 16.47

You fuckin' new age hippies vittu satana

Sitting around,

waiting for revolutions.

I don't know where that song came from.

I fell down on my knees in the middle of the city. I felt so tired. So full of all this crap. Literally. (What?)

I need someone. I have to get out of this room. I'm ill and filthy. I wish someone just sat next to me on the bus and told that there is hope that doesn't go away.

That there is a light that never goes out.

Why is everybody so cruel? I don't want to be a jerk. I try not to be a jerk. But being a jerk is so easy.

I will never hurt somebody else's soul. That is the worst thing you can do. Someone is standing in front of you, tears in their eyes, open and vulnerable. That is something beautiful. Destroying that is like choking a newborn baby.  

Today I was leaning against a wall and an unknown woman complimented me on my skin. This was the second time that this happened. I couldn't say anything. I just smiled and then I walked away.

Thanks, your skin is pleasant to look at too

What makes a person interesting is that secret level; when you don't tell everything

Oh, this doesn't count by the way

I FUCKING LOVE EMMELIE DE FOREST

Well, to be honest I hated the song. But not because of the song but because I was an asshole. (This post is about the Eurovision Song contest 2013. I live in 2013. I could live in 2048 but I don't. Maybe I will.)

Now I've visited Emmelie de Forest's personal Facebook page (at least it really appears to be authenthic) and she seems to be an ethical vegetarian and a big lover of literature. That's a very pleasant combination. (Almost as good as the combination of a poet and a hooligan, in one person. [Or wait, the idea of a poet and a hooligan teaming up sounds pretty good too... The novelist will think about it.])

So, yeah, now that the irrational bitterness is gone I can admit that this girl is GREAT

Didn't think I'd ever say this (why not?), but:

FUCK YEAH DENMARK.

WE. FUCKING. WON

Olli fucking Brander.

My name is Olli Brander.

Brander used to be the name of one the people that only exist in my head. But now it's my name.

I'm Olli. And now my last name is Brander. Let's all deal with it.

For a long time I thought my name would be Qvist, but then I fell in love with another name. So now my name is Olli Brander.
I want people to say
OLLI.
FUCKING.
BRANDER.

So my name is Olli Brander. Nice to meet you.

I had friends when I was 16

but after 3 months I had to disappear because I couldn't handle the fact that they knew my name.

Will this genius last forever? Will it die someday? I'm so much better than most. I have what it takes.

Fall in love with the people you've created, and others will too.

Why did Harry Potter MAKE IT?

Because Harry Potter rolls.

That's what it takes. It has to roll.

Fuck I'm good

Happy

And then we go inside and we gravely eat the stones...

Why do some people approximately my age call themselves 'men' and 'women'? That's fucking horrible. You are children, enjoy the fact and stop killing yourselves. If I suddenly decided to call myself a 'man', everybody within hearing distance would die from laughter. And that's how it should be. (If I decided to call myself a woman, they'd howl like whales.)

I love this time of the year. SPRING = HOPE. That's a fact, right? 'Spring' is a synonyme for 'hope'. Everybody knows it, but no one ever talks about it, right?

I love everything at this very moment. I feel happy. I feel HAPPY.

Last night I stared into a closed hairdressing salon and there was a mirror inside, and suddenly I realized that I actually liked my face. I look alright. I'm not ugly at all. I'm a nice looking Justin. What?

I look like young Leonardo DiCaprio and nobody's ever kissed me. How can that be? I don't get it. Isn't Leonardo DiCaprio generally considered quite attractive?


 




Like, I just don't get it. Where are you? I should have a huge crowd of lovers.
Like, what's the problem here?







I'm waiting for you, you know.

Come and get me.








I love everything. I love my future. Am I really writing these sentences? Yes. I love everything. I love this moment. I'm writing in front of a window and I see the morning taking over the sky. I love this moment.

Last night I wandered around the empty streets of Helsinki and suddenly I had to stop and realize how happy I was.

Soon I'll be able to step out and live.

You should be happy for me. Be happy for me.

I guess the main reason for this frightening joy is the fact that I've written. I've written quite a lot. And I feel I've finally been able to CATCH the goddamn FIRE I always dreamt of. THE GODDAMN FIRE.

This won't last forever. Tomorrow may be different.

But this moment is beautiful. Be happy for me.

---------------

Once again, I've spent the night with randomish music.

First, I finally rediscovered a song that served as a part of the soundtrack of My Depressed January of 2012. I had forgotten the name of the song and the name of the artist, but, strangely, here it is again, Zoë Keating - Escape Artist:

And, then, I spent a while smiling with Satin Circus:

They are a bunch of young Finnish boys possibly about to Make It Big. I found them today, and then I went through their vlog posts.

There is nothing deep to them. Absolutely nothing. And that's why I like them this morning. I think that they're great. They seem happy and easy and kind and... happy........ That's enough for me. Maybe that's how it should always be. Enough.

If they do make it big, a lot of jealous people are gonna hate them. But I'll like them 'til I get a reason not to. Wohoo!


 Btw, the summer of 2009 was a beautiful summer:

Fuck yeah! Smak rulez!!!

Well I didn't expect this

SHUT UP!
SHUT UP!!!!
SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU'RE AN EXCRUCIATINGLY DULL PERSON! YOUR LIFE IS UNBEARABLY EMPTY! IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY, STOP TALKING! IF THERE REALLY IS NOTHING ELSE HAPPENING IN YOUR HEAD/WORLD/LIFE, THEN YOU NEED A HELPING HAND. Or do you think you have to HIDE everything that is interesting about you?

And YOU. Yes, you. What do you see in her?

Why can't YOU be the helping hand for her? You're an exciting soul. Come on. Show her what existence can be