I will be murdered

It's like my brains and hands are burning to write this book, I've felt this way the whole day, and the whole yesterday, but I JUST CAN'T DO IT, I can't do ANYTHING, I can't write a SINGLE WORD, there's too much that I need to change, and I know exactly what I have to do, but I just CAN'T do it for fuck's sake, it's too huge

The whole James Dean part, it already goes a lot deeper than most of the other dead idiots but I could do a lot better, come on, it's James Dean, I have what it takes to write very good stuff about James Dean. I know what it should be about. Why on Earth does James Dean mean something to me? Where did it come from? Why doesn't it go away? Am I a 'James Dean fan'? It makes no sense! Fuck you!

Life is about mysteries like this. Why things matter to you, why people matter to you, and why they don't when they don't

And I know that I have to kill someone, and that's fucking awful, killing someone

Maybe I should write it in English, lol

Fuck you, fuck everything, I'm so excited about this and I just fucking fuck you