We need new groove

I used to think that being nice was wrong. I don't know what it was, maybe some sort of boring rebellion, but 2 or 3 years ago I would write sentences like, "It's more important to be moral and good than to be nice"; and it's still true, of course it is. But the more I've seen and the more I've grown, the more I've started to realize that being nice and kind is one of the most important things in humanity. And man, how rare are those situations when being nice and kind is an obstacle.

Idiots and assholes can learn; however, you won't change them by becoming one of them, but by treating them, even them, with respect. You have to show them another way to exist. First they'll feel embarrassed. And then they'll learn. This is the way to change this world.

Something I've noticed:

Kind people are always right.




I watched The Emperor's New Groove today. I laughed painfully. I was 11 or 12 the last time I saw it. It used to be one of my favourite movies. It still is. It made me feel a lot of things. Remember people that are only ghosts in my head nowadays. There seems to be ten million times more sense, love and wisdom in Disney movies than in this 'real' world of adults and politics and Wall Street and the Internet and the meat industry. What happens to people when they stop being children and start to become adults? They lose so much. A being with sincerity and compassion and wisdom seems to vanish and die in order to be replaced by a monster without an atom of humanity.

All the good things, all the ideals, already exist in Disney movies. For some reason, they don't exist in society. It's like something's holding us back. As if we were physically unable to do the right thing. For some reason we have the meat industry, for some reason we have slavery, for some reason we have oppression and discrimination and all these indescribably ugly and violent things, even though we know that they are wrong. Even though we know what we should do. The 'real world' is absurd. Adults are no smarter than kids, they've just learned to fake and pose and repeat the lies that society feeds them. And never ask questions.

I've learned much more from Disney movies and Harry Potter books than from teachers and textbooks ever. Love, compassion, friendship, wisdom, bravery, those are the important things, not grammar and square roots. Grammar and square roots are nothing but details, why have we forgotten the things that matter to the heart?

Mein kampf

I googled 'Karl Ove Knausgård' and somehow ended up watching this video:



Scott Manley Hadley, when you google your name and find this, I just want you to know that this video is stupid but I like you and I think you should keep trying, whatever it is that you're doing.

YouTube keeps recommending a video called 'Real Life Ken and Barbie Hate Each Other' for me. Stop it! You can't break me!

13 Ghosts and a Drifter

I want to do porn.

My life imitates art

3 years ago, I found Morrissey and he changed my life and me.

3 years later, yesterday morning (9/20/2013), I was sitting on the sofa, watching East of Eden



once again and playing with those little toys that you get from chocolate eggs,
when my cellphone rang. It never rings. The only person that ever calls me is my mother. This time the number was strange. I picked up the phone and answered the call of the unknown.
"Haloo?" I said.
The caller had amazing news. And now everything will be slightly different forever. You have no idea.

Now I can feel new power running in my bloodstream. And instead of being so scared I'm full of hope.

Gotta start getting things done.

 

(One of the best things in the world. ^ Men that want women to be weak and submissive are idiots, and so are women that want to please those idiots.)

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Should I go to bed?

Brande-r.blogspot.com

From now on, kvister2.blogspot.com -> brande-r.blogspot.com

Makes more sense.

I could name myself Marlon Brander. But I guess I'll just stick to my own first name.

What am I doing

I noticed that Channing Tatum looks like a brawny 20 centimeters taller version of James Dean. For some reason, at the same time he lacks everything that's interesting about James Dean's face. Channing Tatum's face is almost painfully boring, while James Dean's face is one of the most interesting I've ever seen.

And, as you can see, this blog has become strangely vacuous and meaningless.

For fuck's sake, I have to stop writing about things that don't matter.

I wrote this in the late 1970's when I was still physically living in Steven Patrick Morrissey's body:

Autumn 2011

So many beautiful girls. I don't understand it.


"13 Ghosts and a Drifter"? 13 ghosts? Who are they?


WHAT AM I DOING? I HAVE WORK TO DO.
Work work. Writing shouldn't be "work".

I don't even look like my parents. I look like my half brother, but he's virtually dead and I haven't seen him for 13 years.

Burden off my shoulders

I have to let go of all the darkness that I've let into my life. I have to turn my back to the things that are killing me and start walking towards the light.

I have to stop looking for fights. I won't save the world by trying to change idiotic individuals into nicer individuals on YouTube.

Do I want to save the world? Yes. But I'm one person: I won't be able to save everything. I'll change something. To maximize my ability to make things a little bit better, I have to understand what is important and what is not; arguing with people on the Internet, no matter how wisely, is not important. My dreams are important. Writing is important. Living is important.

Day by day I see it more clearly: to help others I have to help myself first.

I won't be able to save anybody from drowning if I'm drowning myself. I have to ditch things that are killing me. I have to stop concentrating on the dark individuals and the depressing details. I have to start looking at the big picture. And the big picture looks like this:

If I get out of this neurotic darkness, I will be able to write my dreams into reality. I will be able to write something that will reach millions of people. If I'm going to change the world, if I'm going to save anything, that is the only way.

So darkness, my old friend, I'm leaving you behind. Step by step, I'm killing the neurotic addiction to destroy myself by facing dark horrible minds on the Internet and everywhere. Why do I waste my time on them? Why do I let them blur my view of the world? They are not everybody and I've always known that.

There is light. That is where I'm going to start heading. I'm gonna drop some of the burden off my shoulders and just write, write, write something true, great, incredible. And then, sooner or later, maybe very soon, I'll step out of this room, my future in front of me, my eyes open, my head high, ready to talk to real, living, breathing people, ready to fall in love, ready to touch, ready to live, ready to breathe, ready to turn things around.

And when I'm out there, when I'm dancing and laughing and finally living, I'll be able to look back and see that compared to the living, strange, beautiful sides of the real world, the ghosts of the Internet are nothing.

I advice you to do the same thing, my Invisible Friend. Sooner or later you'll be out there, somewhere, reading this, and these are my words for you:

Walk towards the light. Forget the idiots. Forget the jerks. Forget that person that made you feel like you wanted to die. Forget that person who wanted to destroy you. Forget that moment when you lost all hope. Forget all that for a while. You'll always have that somewhere inside you, building you up, making you stronger, but for now, you have to turn your back to the dark sides of existence. Forget the evil people and get out into the world.

Stop looking for fights. Stop looking for misery. I assure you that there are a lot of good, beautiful, peculiar, fascinating people out there. Start looking for them, because they are there, and they are lonely, and they're sure as hell waiting for you.

The tiring sides of humanity: fish bowls

Ok, I'm finally stopping watching Embarrassing Bodies. This has been going on for a while now, and now I've had enough.

The reason is not the enormous warts and hydrocele testicles and bleeding anuses, it's the nightmarish little fish bowl that they have on the table in the 'Embarrassing Bodies' waiting room. There must be like 5 grown goldfish in a little bowl not much bigger than a football.

Wtf? How can anybody see that bowl and not feel claustrophobic? I'm waiting for the day when treating living animals as decoration will be against the law.

Unfortunately, when it comes to animals, laws have very little to do with compassion, justice or morality in 2013.

What. The. Fuck.

Girls I like II

I'd like to add some names on the 'girls I like' list. I could also create a list of 'women I admire' but I'm not in the mood at the moment (that list would include at least Tarja Halonen and Joanna Lumley; and most of the girls I like).

More girls I like:

Ok. Lisa is a 'child'. No she isn't! She's got the intellect of a Nobel prize winner at the age of 8. She's not 8. Sadly she is animated, but if she wasn't, I'd go out with her. I really like her. I can identify with her in a lot of ways. The only problem between us (.....) is the fact that sometimes some of the episodes of The Simpsons are written by idiots that don't understand anything about Lisa. Lisa Simpson is a prodigy, just like me. Highly intelligent, like me. People unable to understand this are prone to make Lisa into some stereotypical little girl that only gives a shit about unicorns and Malibu Stacy dolls. That's infuriating. Lisa is not like that. She gives a shit about a lot of things; the most important of things. People that don't understand this shouldn't touch Lisa. They shouldn't touch us. We are better than them.

A few days ago I finally realized that I love Saga Norén. I'd seen one episode of the Swedish/Danish TV-series Bron/Broen. Then one night, weeks later, one of the main characters, the Swedish police officer named Saga Norén visited my dream. In the dream I was in love with her, and when I woke up, I understood that this was probably the way it was. Now, last Sunday night or something, I watched another episode of Bron/Broen. At the final glimpse of the episode we see wounded Saga Norén lose her conciousness and fall to the ground and then the theme song starts playing:

Well, that's the intro. The outro sounds better and different. Anyway, at that moment I realized that yes, I really do love Saga Norén. I like her the same way I like Lisbeth Salander. (Liking Saga Norén makes me feel my love for Lisbeth again.) They are so strong and deadpan, but that's just what they naturally are; they're not faking it, and it's obvious that at the same time they are beautifully vulnerable and human. That's how I like my peoples. That's what I fall in love with. When I write my books, I notice that I'm always writing characters that I instantly or eventually fall in love with, and this is the recipe.

In Lisbeth's case it's never fully clarified whether she has Asperger's Syndrome, but when it comes to Saga, it's almost like the point of the whole thing. Saga Norén is a good joke, a very unusual joke, and I like that a lot:

 

I like people with Asperger's. I may have some form of that myself. I mean, it would explain a lot, like why I'm so different from most people and why I'm so much better than them in most cognitive ways and at everything. Social norms interest me, but they don't affect me the way they affect other people, and when it comes to cognitive skills I rock'n'roll so fucking hard.

That thing I posted last night (the one about 'girls I like') came back to me in my dreams. I had very disturbing dreams and when I woke up, I felt lost, stupid and annoyed. I wanted to delete the whole thing.

Before going to bed at 9 AM, I spent the night writing strange stuff here and there. I wrote a very strange scene in my book. I plan on deleting it today.

But I don't know if I should. It may be something weird and new, but at the same it's true and honest. Human emotions. How traditional do I want to keep the way I tell this story? And what's the problem with stupid blog posts?

Yes. I'm still worrying about stuff. But at the same time I know that things are changing. The future is closer than ever. And I hope that the future will be free.

Fucking fuck, everything is so strange and complicated. The simplest moments are the best ones. When you know where you're going.

Girls I like

And so on.

The black boxes are so stupid. What was I thinking?

Why do I love them? I don't know! Do you? Is it supposed to make any sense? 2 of them are dead, 1 just simply doesn't exist anymore and 1 has never existed. I love them and it's stupid.

Wait! Wait! I may be over Lisbeth Salander now. It's been years since we broke up.

Questions; why do I like Marilyn Monroe but dislike Britney Spears? They're virtually the same thing.

I guess I like the fact that Marilyn is dead.

When I manage to get out of the house and I look at all these pretty girls on the streets and everywhere, I can say that at least 40 % of them seem genuinely interesting. They seem like an adventure. But I always know that I mustn't go any closer: when seen any closer, they might very well turn out to be one of those depressing dastardly mean pretty idiots that you see everywhere.

I like girls when they are alone. When they are together, most of them say such boring things. Like people usually do.

Maybe all this will change too.
For me.