the faller

Is it possible to slip and fall six times a day?

Is it possible to fall in love with everybody that passes by?

Apparently yes.
I'm gonna keep falling.

Don't believe in much

Went for a long walk very early in the morning. Once again.

I walked a lot and rode a lot of buses and a lot of trams and the metro. I did some weird crap (not literally). I even sang a little bit when I walked through a train station. I did get some weird looks, but who cares; in 2 hours most of them wouldn't remember me at all, in 2 days some would remember just a little man with large flat feet and a small moustache.

No, wait. That's not me. That's Charlie Chaplin.





Anyway.

Riding a bus to the sunrise is one of the best things in life (at least for someone who doesn't have an actual life). It's one of those things of painful beauty. Things that fill your head with too many ideas. Ideas such as the one I got today: "Because I'm weak, Oscar Blom." And then I realized I was still in love with the things I'd thought I'd forgotten.

Ugh. Smack me in the face, please.

Fingers - amazing things: with them you can write legendary lives and exciting souls, stroke clitorises, infuriate people, even start wars.


I hope I never lose my fingers. I hope I never lose my war.

So long

I'm a poet. It works now. You'll remember my name. I just don't know which one yet.

The person I used to be is standing two steps behind me. And he doesn't recognize me at all. Neither do the people I used to go to school with. Some time ago, I went and wandered the hallways of a building that used to be my school. I saw a lot of people that I used to know, but they didn't even look at me. The ones who did look at me, didn't know it was me. I've changed a lot, and I had a hood over my head. I stared at all those people, thinking, remember when you talked to me once? remember when I almost smiled with you once? remember when you imitated me maliciously? remember when you shoved me against the wall without even noticing that you'd shoved be against the wall? remember when we were teenage atheists together for that one lesson?

The only person who saw me that day was the only one in that school who ever was loyal to me. There used to be all these people that I wanted to like me, but they never liked the person I was, because I never showed them who I was. And all that time I treated this girl like shit, because I thought she was a loser, and being a loser was the thing I feared more than anything else.

But this time I hugged her. I hope she understood all the things I couldn't bring myself to say.

I'm so sorry. I wish you luck. Maybe we'll meet again.








When I die, I want a tombstone that says So long.

I have sexual perversions but I don't want to talk about them.

I spent the whole day lying in my bed and dreaming extremely disturbing dreams. Does this have something to do with the fact that I bought my dog 50 Shades of Grey for Christmas?


...


I'm a goth.


No I'm not. Don't know why I said that.

Fuck.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKcCKKCCKK!!!!!

And after all I knew nothing about you. And now, when I look at what you actually are, I don't recognize you at all. Who were you? I didn't know you were a literature freak. Remember when you kissed me through the train window?

Who are these people? Who was I?







At the moment I have an unbearable feeling that I'm not as good as I'd like to be. Fucking fuck. I... gotta... change... everything.


I gotta change Tommi X

But then again. I like to bluster about killing certain people, but would I really do that? Would I actually kill anyone?

Usually not. But sometimes yes.

Like for instance that Antonio. I really hated that person. We never even spoke to each other, but every time I heard him open his mouth, it was clear that he was a cowardly little bully. His life's only pursuit was to make others suffer.

But then again. Let's be honest. I know absolutely nothing about him. He was nothing but a slightly unpleasant character. Why would I hate him? And if I got the chance, why would I kill him? It makes no fucking sense.

Ok. I only dislike the person a little bit. I didn't even remember his existence before I started to dig through my slimy memory.

I'm not very reliable, am I? I try not to be.

Just kidding! I always speak the truth.

Not always.

But anyway.

I guess my role on this Earth is to help. Not to kill.

I'm doomed to flip fingers.

I’d like to murder Lady GaGa. But I’m afraid that’s never going to happen. If I really got to meet her, I’d probably just flip my middle finger and run away laughing like a freak. (No, Lady Gaga, you’re not a freak. You’re a pretty millionaire with 50 mansions and a huge factory producing throwaway hits.)


Cause people like you
Make me feel so tired
When will you die?
When will you die?
When will you die?
When will you die?
When will you die?

And people like you
Make me feel so old inside
Please die

According to some sources, Adam Lanza was a vegan.

Ok. So we had a lot in common.

The question is: dude, why did you go nuts? You clearly had a moral backbone. What the hell happened to you? Who hurt you?

What happened the night before you decided to kill those kids? How did you spend that night? What was going on in your head? I mean come on, children and animals are basically the same thing. They're innocent. They aren't that intelligent but they can feel pain and horror.

I wish I'd been there to talk to you. I wish you'd been there to talk to me. Would it have changed things? For either of us?

Oh well. We'll never know. RIP.

Howls

Why do wolves howl? I don't know. But it breaks my heart. My dog is like a wolf. My dog is a wolf. I love her to death. I would die for her.

And suddenly it's morning again and it's snowing.

Man hasn't been on the moon for 40 years.

WRITE, WRITE, WRITE. Ignore everything else for a while and just write.

Lose your mind. Create worlds. Create people. Fall in love.

Yes, I'm talking to you.

Do it. Start now. Don't stop. You can do it. Be something that literature has never seen before.

We, my friend, will take this world and turn it around.

Genitalia are excruciatingly disgusting. Penises are disgusting, vaginas are disgusting, everything in between is disgusting. I think people - including myself - are interested in genitalia for the same reason we are interested in farts and holes and exploding pimples; it's all just so sensously revolting.





My god. I'm going to be remembered as a slobbery little freak. Sounds good to me.

Hello,




this is my message to You.

Unfortunately, in the following years I am going to steal Your thunder.

I hope You do something about it.



Yours sincerely,

Q

I aim for this



and ultimately this




I have to start doing something important right now.

Whatever.

This is Adwaita. (I mean the turtle, not the guy.) He was born in 1790 and died in 2006. WHAT THE HELL? So amazing. I respect that turtle more than I respect all humans combined.




Btw, if there are any Asian pornstars dying to find out what my sense of humour is like, then here you go. This is stuff that I can't stop laughing at:

Jesus fucking Christ I can't breathe. AHAHAHAHAAhjkshaKJdks

This is how I've chosen to spend my night.

So, this is my youth. This is what it's like.

Maybe I should do something about it. Maybe I should become a sailor. Like my dad. He used to be a sailor, he saw New York.

Do I look anything like James Dean?

I was never young. This idea of fun: cars, girls, saturday night, bottle of wine... to me, these things are morbid. I was always attracted to people with the same problems as me. It doesn't help when most of them are dead.

- Morrissey

Btw; I am Morrissey. I really am. There is no difference. Except hair colour.

Mentioned something about my plans to my parents.

They looked at me, and after 10 seconds my dad opened his mouth:

"You do realize that you're insane?"