Finglish. My name is Olli. There are 590 posts in this blog and maybe 2 or 3 of them are well written. I'll do better things in the future.
If something I wrote on this blog insults you, just ask me about it. I may have changed my mind about you. I'm not saying I'm wise, but I think I'm wiser than I used to be. I don't want to be a jerk.
torstai 30. lokakuuta 2014
In the company of virgins
I'm experiencing one of those 'flow' states at the moment, and I'm deciding to do nothing with it
I’ve been spending quite a bit of time lately in this very comfortable place, but in an entirely random way, so that it doesn’t end. So it’s nothing short of a miracle that I ended up back at a comment I’d written very recently. I’m actually quite shocked. And even more so that there was a reply here. Jesus.
It’s like walking around in someone’s mind here. It feels similar to being under a comfortable blanket or in a completely relaxing bar having a drink and listening to someone whom you don’t want to go home.
Thank you for explaining the ‘flow state.’ It was as though a tour guide showed up on today’s tour.
I just read maybe a dozen posts here... It was actually very interesting, but I'm too scared to read more. I tend to think that the person behind this blog was very different from the person I'm today. What's your impression?
Same person. Still has aspirations of making positive changes to the world; he’s more realistic about how to do that now. Still has issues with the subjunctive mood. Still thinks highly of his abilities. Still unsure of it all: “Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t.” “Maybe that’s good, maybe that’s bad.” Still feeling...intensely. Still scared of his younger self (Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!). Still committed to his causes. Still committed to himself. Still wishes he were...what?
He doesn’t mention love very much anymore. He’s much more cautious now. Maybe he doesn’t mention love because he’s much more cautious. I wonder. Formerly in conversation with himself; now in occasional conversation with others. No longer random.(?)
Perhaps I’m wrong. But that’s what it looks like.
(lokakuuta 2014) “The name of this blog means something.”
Does it still mean something? There’s your answer...
-
I’d like to interview you. We could do it right here. Your first post here in years!
I'm sorry it took me so long to come back here. I became a mailman a couple of weeks ago, and it's been kind of exhausting - first socially and now physically. In theory, my workdays are supposed to be 5-6 hours long, but in reality, I've sometimes spent 9 hours running up and down the stairs of apartment buildings.
But unpleasantness is what I wanted. I wanted a "job I could hate". Like most things in my life, this is actually supposed to help and serve my writing... I think the unpleasantness is already starting to work its magic, which is sort of incredible and makes me deeply joyful. But I'll probably explain all this in more detail once I get around to writing the next Proper Response.
In some ways, I feel like I'm a century older than I was in 2014. That's both good and bad. Reading some of the posts here made me realize that maybe I don't always have to be that old. Creatively, it just doesn't make sense to try to _make sense_ all the time.
Does subjunctive mood refer to the "I wish I was" vs. "I wish I were" business? "I wish I were" just feels so absurd that I've kind of been hoping it's not too ungrammatical to avoid using it.
Love is very complex... I guess I just got tired of thinking about it.
No apology necessary; given your new occupation, it’s surprising that you returned as promptly as you did. Hopefully someone will be the lucky beneficiary of you soon being able to bounce quarters off your ass given all the exercise. But selfishly, I’m more interested in how you are able to transform unpleasantness into something joyful. It’s something you’ve referenced before and something I still don’t comprehend in the slightest. I’m eager to learn.
My ‘impressions’ were just that—things that immediately jumped out for me given my particular mindset. Not that you did, but they weren’t intended to be taken in the serious vein of our usual exchanges. It’s something akin to thinking out loud.
I think I get the reservations you have about reading from your own hand ‘a century’ ago. All I can tell you is that as a reader, I never took the things you obviously wrote off the cuff as literary failures. I took them as spontaneous musings of a guy who really had nobody to talk to. Some of them are quite funny; some quite silly. What’s wrong with silly? It has helped paint a more detailed picture of your life. I don’t think many of those sorts of utterances out of place given the circumstances. And the more serious stuff is brilliant in many instances—those are the real oddity. Not many 16-18- year-olds can make air-tight arguments. No, you don’t have to make sense all the time. If you did, alcohol would be unlawful.
Yeah, the particular was/were instances is what I was referring to, though the subjunctive covers much more, usually focusing on things contrary to actuality. I figured you were dancing to your own tune—you know English syntax far too well to have erred in that way. Fear not—your way is going to be considered the correct way soon enough and the subjunctive will suffer the same fate as ‘per cent’ becoming percent, alternative/alternate being used interchangeably, and the addition of ‘figurative’ as an acceptable definition of literal. Hopefully I will be dead before all that.
No questions about love in the interview, I promise.
Five days ago I went out for a leisurely bike ride and got hit by a car. I was at an intersection and a car seemed to be letting me go first, but then, surprisingly, the car just kept moving and some seconds later I was lying on the ground and my hands were very dirty and bloody and my right wrist was broken.
Apart from that, I was OK. Everyone was very nice and caring and the driver and I had no hard feelings for each other. I was given a strong dose of fentanyl and then I had to spend a few hours in a hospital where a doctor and a couple of nurses tried to fix my wrist by pulling on my arm like a group of sadists. It didn't work, so there's going to be a small surgery on it on the 15th.
All in all, I feel fine; just a little baffled by the fact that God is always trying to kill me. Obviously, delivering mail is impossible now. I don’t know exactly when it’s going to be possible again. But the injuries don’t stop me from writing… which is the most important thing.
Three days ago I received an email saying that I’ve been accepted into this somewhat “prestigious” two-year creative writing school. The first year starts in September. A couple of months ago it just occurred to me that going to that school would probably be a really good idea, and I noticed that they were taking in applications, so I sent them some stuff I’d written.
The school is (somewhat ickily) known as a “writer factory”: it connects writers with publishers, so many of the students end up getting published soon after “graduating” from the school. That’s good, of course, but maybe the most tempting thing was the idea of a place where everybody really cares about writing and works together to get better at it. I don’t want my expectations to be TOO high, but I think it’s probably going to be something quite different from anything else I’ve experienced so far… So I’m excited.
The reason why I sometimes “want” to suffer is that suffering undeniably seems to support creativity. Suffering forces me to think. And feel. It forces me to become aware of things. It forces me to try my best to understand and find meaning in the world. It’s weird, but for me, darkness and unpleasantness almost always precede creative aliveness.
When I started writing The Book, it was at the end of a very crazy and challenging year (2014). The project got its “momentum” from the fact that I’d just felt and noticed and experienced all those new things.
Now I’m gradually starting to write The Next Book. (The Book I Was Born to Write.) I have hundreds of pages of notes and ideas, but the problem is the uneventfulness that has defined the past couple of years of my life. For a couple of years, all I did was edit the previous book. Trying to start a new book after a period like that would be like trying to run a marathon after spending a year lying on the couch. The soul needs some momentum… And the best way to gain momentum is to live and suffer a bit.
So even though I’m a little battered at the moment, it feels good that things are happening... It feels right.
P.S. In the Finnish language, there are some grammatical rules that a lot of people neglect all the time. I don’t mind that in obviously informal contexts, but when it happens in texts that are supposed to be “well-written” (like in articles in newspapers), it’s actually sort of distressing… I can imagine musically gifted people feeling that way when they hear me sing. So I’ll probably try to do the was/were stuff right from now on, to spare you that pain!
P.P.S. I’m mildly high on painkillers, so I probably won’t mind any questions you want to include in the interview.
In hindsight, that last part seems sort of vague and unclear, so I'll clarify just in case: what I meant is that all questions are OK. Even without the painkillers, nothing in our conversations has ever made me uncomfortable, so you shouldn't worry about that.
Well, it sounds like you’re getting all the experiences you’ve been desiring. Even if suffering is good for your soul, I’m sorry to hear about your wrist, despite it being ‘useable.’ And of course I sincerely hope for the best surgical outcome.
If I understand correctly, I think you’re saying that the benefit of suffering is that it stirs you creatively because of the new(unpleasant) experience. I could see where it would, but my first reaction to that is: are you stirred ONLY by turmoil—can you be creative as a result of something positive? I assume the answer is in the affirmative, so perhaps it’s simply an issue of intensity—you are stirred to create more so by misfortune?
Congratulations on your acceptance into the ‘writer factory.’ I cringed when you mentioned the propensity of quick post-grad publication, but hopefully it’s much more than just an avenue for connecting with the business end of your craft. When I read that, I thought of author James Jones’ distain for all the writing students he taught more concerned with how to get agents than the quality of their writing(which he said mostly wasn’t good enough to secure representation in the publishing world). The nice thing about school is that you mostly get to make the focus your own, so no doubt you’ll get something out of it. Could be an amazing experience. I’m thrilled that you’re so eager.
So, again, I’m at a loss as to understand how uneventfulness constricts production of The New Book. Do you need to suffer to write at all? Nonetheless, I’m glad to see things moving in the direction you desire in your life.
I assure you I feel no pain at your avoidance of subjunctive grammar. It was just something that caught my attention that I wondered about. Any rule is breakable in the face of a good reason. Finnish newspapers must be exceptional; even the good ones here are laden with poor writing.
Painkillers aside, I’m glad “...all questions are OK.” But rest assured, what I have in mind is a rather respectful tightly-focused interview, not a free-ranging dive into your highly personal thoughts(I haven’t played the questions game in a very long time!). I’ll get you a proposal for what I have in mind shortly.
A ‘real time’ interview where I ask you questions predominantly about...writing. I’ve wanted to do that for a while, but not in the months-gone-by format we normally communicate in. It would be raw, so it would be conversational. You, of course, would be under no obligation to respond to any question posed, but the nature of the questions wouldn’t be of a “gotcha” journalism sort—they would be serious questions about(mostly) your views related to the general subject of writing, and your writing in particular. The exception to that theme would be the few questions I would have related to your blogs, both general and specific.
That’s about it. We would have to work out the temporal details, etc., but that’s it in a nutshell.
Sounds really good and interesting. Would the interview take place here? Any suggestions as to when we’d do it? (How about Thursday?)
…
The relationship between suffering and creativity is complex. Obviously, joy and happiness are important – they’re necessary too. Actually, I tend to be at my most creative when I’m in a state of happiness and relaxation. That’s when ideas just come, effortlessly… However, I’ve noticed that even in those pleasant, exciting states, most of the ideas - or at least, most of the GOOD ideas - tend to have something to do with stuff I’ve thought and thought and thought about during darker, more anxious periods.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that thinking is my way of dealing with difficult stuff. The painfulness of living in this world forces me to process the world more deeply and seriously than a perpetually happy me ever would. I don’t know if this is understandable – on some experiential level, all of this is clear and obvious to me, but putting it into words is surprisingly hard. And the same is true when it comes to the negative effects of uneventfulness. It feels impossible to begin writing a book after a long period of monotony and isolation, but I can’t really articulate why.
Oh and you shouldn’t worry about the whole “writer factory” thing. As far as I know, the teachers and students of that school tend to be people who genuinely love books and writing – more than once, I’ve heard former students describe how the school made them fall deeply in love with the magical possibilities of literature... The “getting to meet publishers” aspect is just a plus.
Yes—I think I get it completely now. The mind tends to get a little lazy when things are good and we’re complacent and relaxed. During times of whatever degree of stress, the mind is quite active. So you harken back to those times for the thoughts you had that were born of challenging times. Makes perfect sense and I’m sorry it wasn’t more obvious to me. Actually, that makes more clear the question of why writing the new book is challenging after a long period of inactivity.
Thursday sounds good. I’ll write you very soon and we’ll finalize the necessary details.
Olli, when would the next best day after Thursday be? I’ve had a couple of things come up this week and would like a little time for preparation. Let me know a day and time(your local time) that would be acceptable to you. I’m entirely flexible, so virtually any time you suggest will be all right with me.
So, while I never mind being In the Company of Virgins, I was thinking that the interview could be its own thread. Alas, that’s entirely up to you, but if you do create a new blog thread, just let me know where to find it and I’ll be there at 18:00 Helsinki time with the first question.
I am really looking forward to it.
And since this is an interview Olli, I expect you to be wearing your best t-shirt!
Olli, I am very sorry, but I’m going to have to ask for another postponement. I am in currently in the Northwest United States, which just set a heat record today and is expected to be broken tomorrow. Unlike where I live in California, only about a third of residential places here have air conditioning(I’m sure you can guess which camp I’m in). For me it’s simply miserable, but for others it’s actually life-threatening.
To make matters worse, I got a call today from a good acquaintance in New York who told me his wife died, so my thoughts are scattered as you might imagine. They were among the very few people I made a point to see last October when I visited. They have be very kind to me in the nearly 20 years I’ve known them, even inviting me on their vacations. It is simply sickening news.
I can’t apologize enough. You are one of the people I really respect and admire and I hate to disappoint in any way. I saw the new blog entry you set up and I feel like I’ve wasted your time. Hopefully, you’ll give me another chance in the near future when things settle a bit.
You haven't wasted my time in any way! Obviously, we're not going to do the interview now, right after you've received such terrible news! I'm really sorry to hear something so sad happened. But I'm glad you've been fortunate enough to know such wonderful people in this life.
Just let me know when you feel like the conditions are right for doing the interview. Remember, I'm flexible. Take all the time you need, there's really no hurry.
I just read about the heatwave. Lately it’s been pretty hot here in Finland too, but nothing nearly as monstrous as the temperatures you have to deal with. Jesus.
Thank you for your understanding—I was never doubting you would be. It’s one of life’s great ironies that a self-described guy who sometimes has challenges relating interpersonally usually manages to say the appropriate things at the appropriate times. You’ve certainly done that here and I’m grateful.
A couple days ago I got another call from New York from the friend I primarily went to visit, who informed me he just had a heart attack. It was thankfully mild, but still...
And I didn’t mention before—all of this is on the heels of watching my father have a stroke in person three weeks ago(it was mild also, with no lasting effects), just two days after returning from one of the best trips I’ve ever taken.
So it’s been a bizarre month with all that and the heat—which officially killed dozens and unofficially, thousands, in the region.
With regard to your most recent comment, though I appreciate the sentiment behind it, I’m actually doing quite well. Maybe it’s just the sort of fatalist I am. In fact, I think the heat effected me more than anything(I’m no stranger to the more morbid and unpleasant aspects of life, so despite those events, I’m usually able to maintain a balanced perspective). Doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything; just means I try to maintain level-headedness.
But know that I consider myself fortunate to know you. If my life were a book, readers would all be talking about the character of Olli.
Okay! Although I should probably warn you that my head's sort of foggy. Yesterday I took an inhumanely long walk and then failed to sleep properly afterwards, and as a result, I'm feeling a bit slow and stupid. But we can try and see if I manage to answer the questions intelligently.
I'm sorry for responding so late. I didn't notice your comment until about 20 minutes ago. I actually think that 19:00 would work slightly better - it would give me time to take care of some more trivial things first.
(There were some things I wanted to write regarding your earlier comment. I'll get back to that later.)
Moronity can be fun. Two nights ago I went out to do some grocery shopping. Once I got to the store, I noticed that I'd forgotten everything: my debit card, money, and the key to my home. I'd also left my bus card, so I had no other option but to take a taxi to my parents' house, since they have a spare key. The whole trip was pretty expensive, but whatever; it was more memorable than just going to the grocery store.
I must admit, your purview is a lot easier on the vascular system than mine; for me, my clumsy actions are nothing short of thoughtlessness, which I detest.
Maybe I should really be interviewing Mr. and Mrs. Brander...? Ha!
What is a “flow state”?
VastaaPoistaIt's a state where creativity just flows through you and everything is brilliant and relaxed and you stop thinking about your own existence.
PoistaWho is asking? Phineas? Is it you?
It is. Sorry.
VastaaPoistaI’ve been spending quite a bit of time lately in this very comfortable place, but in an entirely random way, so that it doesn’t end. So it’s nothing short of a miracle that I ended up back at a comment I’d written very recently. I’m actually quite shocked. And even more so that there was a reply here. Jesus.
It’s like walking around in someone’s mind here. It feels similar to being under a comfortable blanket or in a completely relaxing bar having a drink and listening to someone whom you don’t want to go home.
Thank you for explaining the ‘flow state.’ It was as though a tour guide showed up on today’s tour.
I just read maybe a dozen posts here... It was actually very interesting, but I'm too scared to read more. I tend to think that the person behind this blog was very different from the person I'm today. What's your impression?
PoistaSame person. Still has aspirations of making positive changes to the world; he’s more realistic about how to do that now. Still has issues with the subjunctive mood. Still thinks highly of his abilities. Still unsure of it all: “Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t.” “Maybe that’s good, maybe that’s bad.” Still feeling...intensely. Still scared of his younger self (Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!). Still committed to his causes. Still committed to himself. Still wishes he were...what?
PoistaHe doesn’t mention love very much anymore. He’s much more cautious now. Maybe he doesn’t mention love because he’s much more cautious. I wonder. Formerly in conversation with himself; now in occasional conversation with others. No longer random.(?)
Perhaps I’m wrong. But that’s what it looks like.
(lokakuuta 2014) “The name of this blog means something.”
Does it still mean something? There’s your answer...
-
I’d like to interview you. We could do it right here. Your first post here in years!
On Your Side: The Interview
I'm sorry it took me so long to come back here. I became a mailman a couple of weeks ago, and it's been kind of exhausting - first socially and now physically. In theory, my workdays are supposed to be 5-6 hours long, but in reality, I've sometimes spent 9 hours running up and down the stairs of apartment buildings.
PoistaBut unpleasantness is what I wanted. I wanted a "job I could hate". Like most things in my life, this is actually supposed to help and serve my writing... I think the unpleasantness is already starting to work its magic, which is sort of incredible and makes me deeply joyful. But I'll probably explain all this in more detail once I get around to writing the next Proper Response.
In some ways, I feel like I'm a century older than I was in 2014. That's both good and bad. Reading some of the posts here made me realize that maybe I don't always have to be that old. Creatively, it just doesn't make sense to try to _make sense_ all the time.
Does subjunctive mood refer to the "I wish I was" vs. "I wish I were" business? "I wish I were" just feels so absurd that I've kind of been hoping it's not too ungrammatical to avoid using it.
Love is very complex... I guess I just got tired of thinking about it.
I like the interview idea!
No apology necessary; given your new occupation, it’s surprising that you returned as promptly as you did. Hopefully someone will be the lucky beneficiary of you soon being able to bounce quarters off your ass given all the exercise. But selfishly, I’m more interested in how you are able to transform unpleasantness into something joyful. It’s something you’ve referenced before and something I still don’t comprehend in the slightest. I’m eager to learn.
VastaaPoistaMy ‘impressions’ were just that—things that immediately jumped out for me given my particular mindset. Not that you did, but they weren’t intended to be taken in the serious vein of our usual exchanges. It’s something akin to thinking out loud.
I think I get the reservations you have about reading from your own hand ‘a century’ ago. All I can tell you is that as a reader, I never took the things you obviously wrote off the cuff as literary failures. I took them as spontaneous musings of a guy who really had nobody to talk to. Some of them are quite funny; some quite silly. What’s wrong with silly? It has helped paint a more detailed picture of your life. I don’t think many of those sorts of utterances out of place given the circumstances. And the more serious stuff is brilliant in many instances—those are the real oddity. Not many 16-18- year-olds can make air-tight arguments. No, you don’t have to make sense all the time. If you did, alcohol would be unlawful.
Yeah, the particular was/were instances is what I was referring to, though the subjunctive covers much more, usually focusing on things contrary to actuality. I figured you were dancing to your own tune—you know English syntax far too well to have erred in that way. Fear not—your way is going to be considered the correct way soon enough and the subjunctive will suffer the same fate as ‘per cent’ becoming percent, alternative/alternate being used interchangeably, and the addition of ‘figurative’ as an acceptable definition of literal. Hopefully I will be dead before all that.
No questions about love in the interview, I promise.
Five days ago I went out for a leisurely bike ride and got hit by a car. I was at an intersection and a car seemed to be letting me go first, but then, surprisingly, the car just kept moving and some seconds later I was lying on the ground and my hands were very dirty and bloody and my right wrist was broken.
VastaaPoistaApart from that, I was OK. Everyone was very nice and caring and the driver and I had no hard feelings for each other. I was given a strong dose of fentanyl and then I had to spend a few hours in a hospital where a doctor and a couple of nurses tried to fix my wrist by pulling on my arm like a group of sadists. It didn't work, so there's going to be a small surgery on it on the 15th.
All in all, I feel fine; just a little baffled by the fact that God is always trying to kill me. Obviously, delivering mail is impossible now. I don’t know exactly when it’s going to be possible again. But the injuries don’t stop me from writing… which is the most important thing.
Three days ago I received an email saying that I’ve been accepted into this somewhat “prestigious” two-year creative writing school. The first year starts in September. A couple of months ago it just occurred to me that going to that school would probably be a really good idea, and I noticed that they were taking in applications, so I sent them some stuff I’d written.
The school is (somewhat ickily) known as a “writer factory”: it connects writers with publishers, so many of the students end up getting published soon after “graduating” from the school. That’s good, of course, but maybe the most tempting thing was the idea of a place where everybody really cares about writing and works together to get better at it. I don’t want my expectations to be TOO high, but I think it’s probably going to be something quite different from anything else I’ve experienced so far… So I’m excited.
The reason why I sometimes “want” to suffer is that suffering undeniably seems to support creativity. Suffering forces me to think. And feel. It forces me to become aware of things. It forces me to try my best to understand and find meaning in the world. It’s weird, but for me, darkness and unpleasantness almost always precede creative aliveness.
When I started writing The Book, it was at the end of a very crazy and challenging year (2014). The project got its “momentum” from the fact that I’d just felt and noticed and experienced all those new things.
Now I’m gradually starting to write The Next Book. (The Book I Was Born to Write.) I have hundreds of pages of notes and ideas, but the problem is the uneventfulness that has defined the past couple of years of my life. For a couple of years, all I did was edit the previous book. Trying to start a new book after a period like that would be like trying to run a marathon after spending a year lying on the couch. The soul needs some momentum… And the best way to gain momentum is to live and suffer a bit.
So even though I’m a little battered at the moment, it feels good that things are happening... It feels right.
P.S. In the Finnish language, there are some grammatical rules that a lot of people neglect all the time. I don’t mind that in obviously informal contexts, but when it happens in texts that are supposed to be “well-written” (like in articles in newspapers), it’s actually sort of distressing… I can imagine musically gifted people feeling that way when they hear me sing. So I’ll probably try to do the was/were stuff right from now on, to spare you that pain!
P.P.S. I’m mildly high on painkillers, so I probably won’t mind any questions you want to include in the interview.
In hindsight, that last part seems sort of vague and unclear, so I'll clarify just in case: what I meant is that all questions are OK. Even without the painkillers, nothing in our conversations has ever made me uncomfortable, so you shouldn't worry about that.
PoistaWell, it sounds like you’re getting all the experiences you’ve been desiring. Even if suffering is good for your soul, I’m sorry to hear about your wrist, despite it being ‘useable.’ And of course I sincerely hope for the best surgical outcome.
PoistaIf I understand correctly, I think you’re saying that the benefit of suffering is that it stirs you creatively because of the new(unpleasant) experience. I could see where it would, but my first reaction to that is: are you stirred ONLY by turmoil—can you be creative as a result of something positive? I assume the answer is in the affirmative, so perhaps it’s simply an issue of intensity—you are stirred to create more so by misfortune?
Congratulations on your acceptance into the ‘writer factory.’ I cringed when you mentioned the propensity of quick post-grad publication, but hopefully it’s much more than just an avenue for connecting with the business end of your craft. When I read that, I thought of author James Jones’ distain for all the writing students he taught more concerned with how to get agents than the quality of their writing(which he said mostly wasn’t good enough to secure representation in the publishing world). The nice thing about school is that you mostly get to make the focus your own, so no doubt you’ll get something out of it. Could be an amazing experience. I’m thrilled that you’re so eager.
So, again, I’m at a loss as to understand how uneventfulness constricts production of The New Book. Do you need to suffer to write at all? Nonetheless, I’m glad to see things moving in the direction you desire in your life.
I assure you I feel no pain at your avoidance of subjunctive grammar. It was just something that caught my attention that I wondered about. Any rule is breakable in the face of a good reason. Finnish newspapers must be exceptional; even the good ones here are laden with poor writing.
Painkillers aside, I’m glad “...all questions are OK.” But rest assured, what I have in mind is a rather respectful tightly-focused interview, not a free-ranging dive into your highly personal thoughts(I haven’t played the questions game in a very long time!). I’ll get you a proposal for what I have in mind shortly.
So, what I have in mind goes like this—
PoistaA ‘real time’ interview where I ask you questions predominantly about...writing. I’ve wanted to do that for a while, but not in the months-gone-by format we normally communicate in. It would be raw, so it would be conversational. You, of course, would be under no obligation to respond to any question posed, but the nature of the questions wouldn’t be of a “gotcha” journalism sort—they would be serious questions about(mostly) your views related to the general subject of writing, and your writing in particular. The exception to that theme would be the few questions I would have related to your blogs, both general and specific.
That’s about it. We would have to work out the temporal details, etc., but that’s it in a nutshell.
Sounds really good and interesting. Would the interview take place here? Any suggestions as to when we’d do it? (How about Thursday?)
Poista…
The relationship between suffering and creativity is complex. Obviously, joy and happiness are important – they’re necessary too. Actually, I tend to be at my most creative when I’m in a state of happiness and relaxation. That’s when ideas just come, effortlessly… However, I’ve noticed that even in those pleasant, exciting states, most of the ideas - or at least, most of the GOOD ideas - tend to have something to do with stuff I’ve thought and thought and thought about during darker, more anxious periods.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that thinking is my way of dealing with difficult stuff. The painfulness of living in this world forces me to process the world more deeply and seriously than a perpetually happy me ever would. I don’t know if this is understandable – on some experiential level, all of this is clear and obvious to me, but putting it into words is surprisingly hard. And the same is true when it comes to the negative effects of uneventfulness. It feels impossible to begin writing a book after a long period of monotony and isolation, but I can’t really articulate why.
Oh and you shouldn’t worry about the whole “writer factory” thing. As far as I know, the teachers and students of that school tend to be people who genuinely love books and writing – more than once, I’ve heard former students describe how the school made them fall deeply in love with the magical possibilities of literature... The “getting to meet publishers” aspect is just a plus.
Yes—I think I get it completely now. The mind tends to get a little lazy when things are good and we’re complacent and relaxed. During times of whatever degree of stress, the mind is quite active. So you harken back to those times for the thoughts you had that were born of challenging times. Makes perfect sense and I’m sorry it wasn’t more obvious to me. Actually, that makes more clear the question of why writing the new book is challenging after a long period of inactivity.
PoistaThursday sounds good. I’ll write you very soon and we’ll finalize the necessary details.
Olli, when would the next best day after Thursday be? I’ve had a couple of things come up this week and would like a little time for preparation. Let me know a day and time(your local time) that would be acceptable to you. I’m entirely flexible, so virtually any time you suggest will be all right with me.
PoistaWould Monday be okay? At 6 p.m. for example? (I'm just randomly coming up with these suggestions, I'm really flexible too!)
PoistaMonday would be great.
PoistaSo, while I never mind being In the Company of Virgins, I was thinking that the interview could be its own thread. Alas, that’s entirely up to you, but if you do create a new blog thread, just let me know where to find it and I’ll be there at 18:00 Helsinki time with the first question.
I am really looking forward to it.
And since this is an interview Olli, I expect you to be wearing your best t-shirt!
https://brande-r.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-interview.html
PoistaSee you there!
Olli, I am very sorry, but I’m going to have to ask for another postponement. I am in currently in the Northwest United States, which just set a heat record today and is expected to be broken tomorrow. Unlike where I live in California, only about a third of residential places here have air conditioning(I’m sure you can guess which camp I’m in). For me it’s simply miserable, but for others it’s actually life-threatening.
VastaaPoistaTo make matters worse, I got a call today from a good acquaintance in New York who told me his wife died, so my thoughts are scattered as you might imagine. They were among the very few people I made a point to see last October when I visited. They have be very kind to me in the nearly 20 years I’ve known them, even inviting me on their vacations. It is simply sickening news.
I can’t apologize enough. You are one of the people I really respect and admire and I hate to disappoint in any way. I saw the new blog entry you set up and I feel like I’ve wasted your time. Hopefully, you’ll give me another chance in the near future when things settle a bit.
Please be good to yourself.
You haven't wasted my time in any way! Obviously, we're not going to do the interview now, right after you've received such terrible news! I'm really sorry to hear something so sad happened. But I'm glad you've been fortunate enough to know such wonderful people in this life.
PoistaJust let me know when you feel like the conditions are right for doing the interview. Remember, I'm flexible. Take all the time you need, there's really no hurry.
I just read about the heatwave. Lately it’s been pretty hot here in Finland too, but nothing nearly as monstrous as the temperatures you have to deal with. Jesus.
PoistaI forgot to say this:
PoistaIf you feel like you want to talk, about what happened, or anything, I'm here and I really want to hear it.
Thank you for your understanding—I was never doubting you would be. It’s one of life’s great ironies that a self-described guy who sometimes has challenges relating interpersonally usually manages to say the appropriate things at the appropriate times. You’ve certainly done that here and I’m grateful.
PoistaA couple days ago I got another call from New York from the friend I primarily went to visit, who informed me he just had a heart attack. It was thankfully mild, but still...
And I didn’t mention before—all of this is on the heels of watching my father have a stroke in person three weeks ago(it was mild also, with no lasting effects), just two days after returning from one of the best trips I’ve ever taken.
So it’s been a bizarre month with all that and the heat—which officially killed dozens and unofficially, thousands, in the region.
With regard to your most recent comment, though I appreciate the sentiment behind it, I’m actually doing quite well. Maybe it’s just the sort of fatalist I am. In fact, I think the heat effected me more than anything(I’m no stranger to the more morbid and unpleasant aspects of life, so despite those events, I’m usually able to maintain a balanced perspective). Doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything; just means I try to maintain level-headedness.
But know that I consider myself fortunate to know you. If my life were a book, readers would all be talking about the character of Olli.
Thank you for being so generous and thoughtful.
The interview—very soon.
Would 18:00 Helsinki time work?
VastaaPoistaOkay! Although I should probably warn you that my head's sort of foggy. Yesterday I took an inhumanely long walk and then failed to sleep properly afterwards, and as a result, I'm feeling a bit slow and stupid. But we can try and see if I manage to answer the questions intelligently.
PoistaI'm sorry for responding so late. I didn't notice your comment until about 20 minutes ago. I actually think that 19:00 would work slightly better - it would give me time to take care of some more trivial things first.
(There were some things I wanted to write regarding your earlier comment. I'll get back to that later.)
Man, I should have seen your comment earlier.
Poista(20:00 would be okay too.)
Apparently you’re not the only one in a fog...
PoistaI meant to say: 18:00 Helsinki time SUNDAY.
Sorry Olli. I feel like a fucking moron right now, believe me.
Ah!
PoistaNo harm done! Sunday would be great.
Moronity can be fun. Two nights ago I went out to do some grocery shopping. Once I got to the store, I noticed that I'd forgotten everything: my debit card, money, and the key to my home. I'd also left my bus card, so I had no other option but to take a taxi to my parents' house, since they have a spare key. The whole trip was pretty expensive, but whatever; it was more memorable than just going to the grocery store.
I must admit, your purview is a lot easier on the vascular system than mine; for me, my clumsy actions are nothing short of thoughtlessness, which I detest.
PoistaMaybe I should really be interviewing Mr. and Mrs. Brander...? Ha!
See you Sunday...