I am the boy who lived

 
I don't share your beliefs, but I admire your passion.

I don't really have beliefs. I have facts and a backbone to react to them.

Lately I've been dancing on the streets of Helsinki. Like, literally, dancing. Alone. With my iPod. I can't dance, but I do know how to jump and party. I do this early in the morning when normal people are making their way to work. When the horrifying question of "Oh my fucking god what the hell am I doing?" enters my mind, I... keep dancing. Perhaps it will make the day better for somebody. Perhaps sooner or later they'll stop and remember the little faggot that they saw dancing on the street and realize that they're not the most embarrassing person on the planet, after all.

The coolest thing you can ever do is to stop trying to be cool.

I don't look like this.

I've walked through so much darkness. You should applaud me for still being around. And when I eventually come out of this darkness, you should meet me at the end of the tunnel and give me a hug.

Jesus* I'm horny. My life is like never-ending erection. It's strange. You can't run away from it. You can't masturbate it away. You can try, but 5 minutes later it's back. I'm sorry. You never asked.

* This is Jesus.

Do I annoy you? Don't worry about it. Annoyance is the price we pay for all the truly good things.

I am jealous of nobody. Nobody. Nobody in this world has the things that I want. I'm the only person in the world who's got the potential to get them. As painful and ridiculous it is to be me, I'd hate to be somebody else.

If I one day get a lot of money for the books that I've written, I'll give at least 99 % of it away. I don't want money, and others need it more than I do.

Money makes people self-centered and unhappy. I want to be poor. When you're rich, you forget how to appreciate the small things and how to see the things that matter. When you're rich, nothing feels big.

I want Nothing to feel like Something.

The core of my unhappiness: I'm so much smarter than most people that it makes most people seem like alien morons to me. I hate existing this way. I wish everybody was like me. I've said this before.

Being the sharpest pencil in the box is painful, because it is you getting stung. Maybe some day my brain will sting society, but so far it's me hurting.


I've been thinking about something that I wrote about the meat industry:

60 billion animals every year, tortured heartlessly for nothing. A decade: 600 billion. And this is just the land animals. There are only a few billion of us westerners that these animals are produced for.

What this means is that our societies are producing a lot more suffering than happiness. It is clear that we have failed. It's time to change.