Masturbating to The Order of the Phoenix

I remember reading a thread where passionate fishermen discussed the sentience of fish. One guy wrote something along the lines of this:

"Okay. Wouldn't it be a little too convenient for us if fish were the only animals on Earth that lack the basic ability to feel pain? Come on. Let's not fool ourselves. They are animals just like you and your dog. They feel pain when you hurt them. Have some intellectual honesty. You don't have to stop fishing to admit this. I admit it and I have no plans to stop fishing. These are living animals and it's my responsibility to try to hurt them as little as possible."

There was something strangely entertaining about how intimidated many of the other fishermen seemed to be. By honesty.

Every now and then, when I see people discussing the meat industry and/or vegetarianism, somebody eventually says something like this: "Am I the only meat-eater in the world who isn't coming up with excuses? The only reason I still eat meat is the fact that I'm a lazy piece of crap."

So beautiful.

That's what I'm always looking for in this world. I'm not looking for perfect people who always do the right thing, never eat meat, give all their money to charity and always help blind grannies across the street. I am looking for people who've got the balls to admit that they should do the right thing but don't always do it because they, just like everybody, suck.

I wish people like this were the rule, instead of an exception. I wish honesty was a normal thing. Then, it would be so easy to get rid of all the bad stuff.

Now, the mechanism is this:

There is something bad going on. (For example: factory farming.)

People take part in it.

-> People have to justify this in their heads.

So they blur their sense of reality and come up with lies, myths and delusions. They fool themselves. It's the survival mechanism of the human psyche: the human psyche thinks that if it doesn't fool itself, the ugliness of reality will break it down. That if the individual is forced to face his/her true imperfection, the individual will die.

But no. That doesn't happen. If you forget the "Plants have feelings too" bullshit and admit that you buy meat even though you shouldn't, you won't die. You'll be free. You'll breathe.

I want to eliminate the mandatory stage of self-deception, and replace it with raw honesty. You will face reality, you will face your own idiocy, and you won't fall apart.

Like this:

Hello. My name is Q. That's not my real name. I have so many names that I'm not sure which one is mine anymore.

I am an idiot and a hypocrite, and I have no intention to justify this. I support industries that I shouldn't, hurt individuals that I shouldn't, and say things that I shouldn't.

Sometimes I buy clothes made by child slaves. Sometimes I buy dairy products, even though I know very well where they come from. I remember being mean to my family members and enjoying it. Like most people, I lie almost daily.

I judge people based on their appearance. I am arrogant. I do believe that I am more intelligent than at least 98 % of other people, even though I have no real data to prove this.

I remember once taking part in bullying when I was 8 years old. I remember another time when I didn't have the guts to stand up for the bullied kid even though I truly wanted to.

I have peculiar sexual perversions. Ridiculous stuff interests me. Sometimes I muse on natural disasters and violent deaths of people that I hate. I remember being about 13 and masturbating to Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix (the book), which is definitely not a very okay thing to do.

Sometimes I can't stand the way I look. Sometimes I can spend 1-2 hours standing in front of the mirror half-naked and staring at my body and face. I think that my life would make an amazing movie.

I am flawed, lazy, cowardly, vain, ridiculous, embarrassing, a liar, and often unbearable. This is what it's like to be human, and I promise to do my best to become a little better. I promise to do my best to be a hero, even if a coward is always the easiest thing to be. I will fail and fail and fail, but maybe some day I'll make it. Give me another chance.

So easy. Feels so good.