Burden off my shoulders

I have to let go of all the darkness that I've let into my life. I have to turn my back to the things that are killing me and start walking towards the light.

I have to stop looking for fights. I won't save the world by trying to change idiotic individuals into nicer individuals on YouTube.

Do I want to save the world? Yes. But I'm one person: I won't be able to save everything. I'll change something. To maximize my ability to make things a little bit better, I have to understand what is important and what is not; arguing with people on the Internet, no matter how wisely, is not important. My dreams are important. Writing is important. Living is important.

Day by day I see it more clearly: to help others I have to help myself first.

I won't be able to save anybody from drowning if I'm drowning myself. I have to ditch things that are killing me. I have to stop concentrating on the dark individuals and the depressing details. I have to start looking at the big picture. And the big picture looks like this:

If I get out of this neurotic darkness, I will be able to write my dreams into reality. I will be able to write something that will reach millions of people. If I'm going to change the world, if I'm going to save anything, that is the only way.

So darkness, my old friend, I'm leaving you behind. Step by step, I'm killing the neurotic addiction to destroy myself by facing dark horrible minds on the Internet and everywhere. Why do I waste my time on them? Why do I let them blur my view of the world? They are not everybody and I've always known that.

There is light. That is where I'm going to start heading. I'm gonna drop some of the burden off my shoulders and just write, write, write something true, great, incredible. And then, sooner or later, maybe very soon, I'll step out of this room, my future in front of me, my eyes open, my head high, ready to talk to real, living, breathing people, ready to fall in love, ready to touch, ready to live, ready to breathe, ready to turn things around.

And when I'm out there, when I'm dancing and laughing and finally living, I'll be able to look back and see that compared to the living, strange, beautiful sides of the real world, the ghosts of the Internet are nothing.

I advice you to do the same thing, my Invisible Friend. Sooner or later you'll be out there, somewhere, reading this, and these are my words for you:

Walk towards the light. Forget the idiots. Forget the jerks. Forget that person that made you feel like you wanted to die. Forget that person who wanted to destroy you. Forget that moment when you lost all hope. Forget all that for a while. You'll always have that somewhere inside you, building you up, making you stronger, but for now, you have to turn your back to the dark sides of existence. Forget the evil people and get out into the world.

Stop looking for fights. Stop looking for misery. I assure you that there are a lot of good, beautiful, peculiar, fascinating people out there. Start looking for them, because they are there, and they are lonely, and they're sure as hell waiting for you.